henryeatspeople:

I unintentionally like to fuck with other’s dreams. I realized this while sitting here with Grrr sleeping peacefully by my side as I’ve reached over and without warning subtly scratched his “perfect spot” so that his leg will start twitching involentarily for like the 20th time tonight. It doesn’t necessarily wake him up most of the time but I like the fact that he half-awake lifts his head like he’s thinking “Shit, there goes my leg again, how the hell… aw fuck it.” Then he falls asleep and next thing ya know he’s running like hell in his sleep. The thing is, is that I do this ALL THE TIME.

And then as I’m realizing shit asshole maneuver I think about it. Shit, I do this to guys all the time. When I’m laying in bed with a guy and he’s completely asleep I’ll usually lean over and rub or lightly scratch or whatever the ONE SPOT I know that they absolutely love. (Besides the cack and bolls here peeps.) It’s different for each guy really but some places are just predictably a given. Some of the more common “perfect spots” are that one place right on the ass cheek, that one part of the head (or neck, some guys are neck guys instead), that one spot on the inner thigh, oh! right below the butt cheek, the shoulder blade spot, the lower spine spot… I could go on cause like I said, it depends on the guy. But the point being is that I do this when they’re asleep. It’s like I subconsciously hold out all my affection (or the affection I know they’d enjoy the most) until they’re passed out snoring. Which is sort of awesome as well but snoring is a whole other subject.

Summary: I’m cold and heartless and affectionless until I sleep next to you and then I wait till you’re dreaming to mess with you in the nicest way possible. I need help.